The Last Enchilada

So long, dear friend.  See you in a while. :(

I'm about to do something I've never done before in all the years I can remember.  I have committed myself to a Clean Eating Challenge.  Me.  Mrs. I don't have to try to lose weight.  Mrs. Bucker of trends.  Mrs. I can button my jeans.  One of those links may have been a test to see whether or not you click on them. The truth is, my jeans don't button without a lot of breath-holding, these days.  I have some bad habits, which started to catch up with me as soon as I stopped running after my stress fracture.  There was no cost to commit to this challenge, and although I know being coached through a detox-ish diet-type thing like this via social media goes a teensy bit against what I've said before, I've accepted the fact that I do need to change some things.

Charming agreed (voluntarily!) to accept the challenge with me, so for the next two weeks, our diet will consist of all gross food and nothing delicious.  Okay, I know that isn't true.  Actually, I do cook healthy meals most of the time.  We eat a lot of vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins.  We don't keep soda in the house, and rarely eat fast food.  We do eat tacos from Tijuana Flats every single Tuesday.  My sister says our lives revolve around TF's Taco Tuesdaze promo, which is only partly true.  Only our Tuesdays revolve around it.  But still, it shouldn't be a problem to indulge one night each week with a soda, tortilla chips, and a couple of shells filled with juicy meat, crispy lettuce, lots of cheese, crunchy onions, seeds-removed jalapenos, briny black olives, fresh tomatoes and a generous drizzle of jalapeno hot sauce.  The problem lies with what happens after our other healthy, balanced, appropriately portioned meals.  Chips.  Chips.  Lots and lots of chips.  We eat a shameful amount of chips.  Go on.  Get a mental picture of a "shameful" amount of chips.  I bet you imagined low.  I won't exaggerate and say that our chip habit keeps Frito-Lay in business, but I will tell you that I calculated how much money we could save by cutting the chips from our grocery bill, and the number fell right between "embarrassing" and "nauseating."

It seems contradictory to tell myself (and others) that I'm passionate about health and fitness and doing what I can to maintain both, when all the while I'm giving in to every food that cries, "Eat me!" I don't believe that cutting out all sugar, all fat, all carbs, or all meat is a good way to go.  But I can't deny that eliminating all the super-processed, deep fried, nutritionally void foods will be of benefit to me.  I don't need the leftover holiday candy.  I don't need ice cream.  I don't need beer.  I'm pretty sure that I've passed the point in my life wherein I can indulge in those things without consequences to my body.

Cheers!  No adult beverages for 14 days!

So, here's the plan:  Coach Jasmine will provide recipes, online motivation, workout guides, de-stressing yoga poses, and all the Shakeology a person can drink.  (I've never tried Shakeology.  I really dislike drinking anything that comes from a blender, unless it is, like, peppermint-chocolate flavored vodka with vanilla ice cream and brownie chunks.  I also tend to gag on things made with powder, except when I've mixed a hot chocolate packet into a cup of coffee and added some toffee flavored creamer.  So, I'm not too eager to try the shakes, but we'll see how things go.)  Those of us participating in the challenge are responsible for eating 3 "clean" meals and 2 healthy snacks each day, and drinking lots of water.  We are to abstain from alcohol, processed foods, and lethargy.  We are encouraged to share our successes and shortfalls, to post pictures, and to track our workouts online for all to see.

Day 1.  Whose jeans do you think are happier: mine, or Alessandra Ambrosio's?  I think mine are under an awful lot of stress, and that can't be good.

I don't actually plan to cook any different, except that I'll not be taking Tuesdays off from my kitchen duties.  On the menu for tonight is spaghetti.  I made a big batch of my vegetable-chocked sauce last month and put some in the freezer.  Today, I just have to heat the sauce and cook some whole grain pasta, and throw together some salads.  Tuesday, I'll make tacos (surprise!) with chicken breasts instead of ground beef and with more vegetables than cheese.

You know what's cool?  You can join, too!  The internet is wonderfully inclusive like that.  You don't necessarily have to change in every way the challenge suggests, either.  You could be like me, and just push yourself to break your worst habit(s).  I would love to hear about it, whatever you do!  Wait-- unless it's eating at Tijuana Flats and gorging yourself on chips.  I can do without your telling me those things.

Connect The Dots

The dots, in this case, are the random bits of information to follow.  Yes, I could have written several mini posts, but I think you know by now that I will almost always choose long-winded over short.

• For the second year in a row, my team made the playoffs in our Keeper($) Fantasy Football League.  Although my dependence on the Tom Brady/Rob Gronkowski combo seemed like it was going to destroy me earlier in the season (thanks a load for those 9 points in week 7, Touchdown Tommy), they pulled together when the time came and got me the wins I desperately needed.  This team is the one (of three) with which I most concern myself.  I'm doing terribly in the Free Family League, and I need many things to fall into place in order to secure a playoff spot in the winner-take-all League of Mostly Couples.  Unfortunately, my brother-in-law needs to beat his brother this week to push me ahead in the standings in that league, and, well, that might take a Thanksgiving miracle.

BIL's appropriate team pic

• Cupcake (formerly known as Baby) is thoroughly obsessed with The Fox song.  She prefers the live on Jimmy Fallon's show version to the original, because she likes pointing at the horse with the Ylvis guys.  She asks to watch it multiple times each hour day, sings along ("pa pa pow"), and dances.  It's pretty stinkin' cute.
• Rip Claw (formerly known as 6 y.o.) earned his Bobcat rank in Cub Scouts.  I got to paint his cute little face during the presentation ceremony at the pack meeting.  Charming (formerly known as Husband, because he's like my Prince and my Jax Teller all in one charming package) and I are pretty new to the whole scouting deal, and still a little hesitant.  We like the values they teach, and Rip Claw enjoys the activities a lot.  We're not entirely sure, though, that we're getting our money's worth.  It seems like a lot of expense, time, and effort are going in to securing tangible recognition that he's learned things we have taught him since he was born.  The leaders talk a lot about scouting being a family oriented program, but it is really difficult for us to participate in many of the events as a family, and I feel like we're ostracized if we complete assignments or activities just as a family, without the den.  Oh, and then there's the lightly blanketed racism that seems to pervade everything scouting-related...but that's a subject for a different post.  And they also seem prejudiced against those of us who don't sew or iron.

First time in uniform a couple months ago.

• I'm running again!  I've been slowly building my weekly mileage up, and including lots of walking each time I hit the road.  I also was treated to a therapeutic massage recently, which helped with the lingering soft tissue pain around my healed stress fracture.  I already shared some of the lessons I learned from my injury, but I feel like I'm also applying even more intelligence and thought to my running regimen than ever before.  I'm keeping track of how much water I drink, and meeting my goal of at least 100 oz/day.  I'm strength training, with concentration on my core, hips, and quads.  I've been practicing yoga.  Perhaps my favorite change, though, has been the addition of these dynamic stretching workouts after running.  

Miranda Esmonde-White doesn't know it, but I love her.  She makes me want to hug my television.

• I tweet!  Follow me, if you please.  I am @Rhi_Tweeter.
• My Alma Mater has an Ah-Mah-Zing football team this year.  U! C! F!  Whooooo!
• Nightmares have been going around at our house.  A couple of nights ago, Rip Claw slept  in our bed after a bad dream, which has never happened before.  Last night, I had a terrifying dream about the Governor from The Walking Dead wherein he was tearing the heads off of people (not zombies) with a hook, and hunting down me and the other members of my group.

• I'm currently reading 3 books.  1 for regular book club:

Turns out, rock star stereotypes are sometimes quite accurate.

         1 for mini book club:

Page 1, I decided to hike the Appalachian Trail.  Then, changed my mind somewhere around page 1 1/2.

         1 to satisfy my inner sci-fi geek:

Better than the first (so far) and the "There Goes The Galaxy" was pretty grand.

• Let's see...is there anything else important that I should share?  Hmm.  Oh!  Yeah.  I registered for my second first marathon.  Did anyone else just stop breathing for a second?  No?  Just me, then.  If two marathons could be complete opposites, my first first and my second first are such.  This one is in its inaugural year, local, without rock bands (although I think it would be great if they hired some local bands to provide music along the lovely course) and without several thousand of the participants that ran in Savannah.  It's going to be great.  It's going to be great.  It's going to be great.  

It's going to be great.

       Perhaps my chant should instead be: "I will not get injured.  I will not get injured.  I will not get injured."

I know I haven't offered much advice in this post, but please feel free to comment with any questions you have about my areas of expertise, like barely making fantasy football playoffs, running hesitantly, sleeping on the couch or not at all after scary dreams, and... um... reading!  Oh, and if you need to know every single lyric of The Fox song, I can help.