Wednesday, January 23, 2013

This is the Life

Swamp Life.  Salt Life.  Gangsta Life.  (Gangsta is a dictionary word, now?  I expected red squigglies, but see none.  That makes me sad.) Gym Life.  Dog Life.  Young Life.  Mud Life.  Zombie Life.  New "Life" car decal choices are still scrolling, and I found the website where they're sold, like, 4 minutes ago.

I don't want to alienate either any of my readers, but I think the ________ Life decals are dumb.  I'll still probably like you if you have one on your car, but I won't drive around in your vehicle except in very specific situations:  In order to meet an ambulance carrying a family member at the hospital, for one, or if I were involved in a high speed chase and needed to change cars to avoid capture.
See how dumb?  You'll never convince me otherwise.
Husband and I have entertained each other on many a car trip, making fun of the various "Lives" people seem so keen on sharing their love of.  Again, I don't want to alienate anyone, so I'll not share the details of what we say (or how we laugh ourselves silly).  I understand loving the ocean.  I've never lived more than 30 minutes from the beach, and when I retire, I want to live no more than 30 steps from it.  I also understand that people want to share the things they love with like-minded people.  I joined a running group, and read running blogs.  I started a book club, and I go to lots of concerts.  I'm not an anti-shareite.  I just don't get why people feel the need to put stickers on their cars to say, in the dumbest possible way, "I love the beach", or "I love hunting" or "I truly believe the zombie apocalypse will happen someday."  Do you think two people with "Salt Life" decals on their cars have ever encountered each other in a traffic jam and been like, "Oh, you live the salt life, too?  Cool.  You can merge into my lane, then.  I only let people cut me off if I know they like saltwater."  Imagine if a guy with a decal went on a date with a girl who had no decal.  Imagine they went for a walk on the beach.  Do you think he'd believe her that she enjoyed herself, once he saw that she had not committed to a life of the salt?

I digress.  This is an advice-giving blog, so here is my advice: If you absolutely must share the kind of life you live on your vehicle, get a decal made that stands out of the crowd. 


facebook life
Like.  Share.  Promote.  Turn mush-brained.

Where a woman finds her place

Fantasy sports life
it's important. Trust me.

Your Life
Not 'you're' life. Not 'ur' life. And if it wasn't yours, it would be theirs, not there's.

Ironic Life
I still listen to Alanis Morissette. Isn't it ironic? That I have bad taste in music AND I don't understand irony?

Have any decals on your car?  I won't (publicly) make fun of you, if so.


  1. I laughed really, really hard at all of that.

    I think I may make this entire post into a decal to stick under my BlogLife one, on my car.

  2. These must not have made it to the midwest;-) I thought the Kitchen one was pretty clever...

  3. I haven't seen these AT ALL. I guess mine would read "Ignorant Life."

    1. In this case, ignorance really does equal bliss, I think.

  4. When you open the custom decal printing store, let me know. I have money you can take.

    My money, not ur money.

  5. I'm going for Still Life. Or maybe Ante-Life as a womb-appreciation kinda thing? Then some people would be confused and think I was opposed to Life. Or maybe Anti-Pro-Life.

    I am discouraged that there exists a stupid gimmick that did not start out here in so Cal. Get up to speed, homies! (er... home-ies?)

    Still and all, the Life signs are less annoying than the I'd rather be [blahblah] license plate frames, and of course ANYTHING is better than Baby-On-Boards warning signs, which appear to be making a comeback with the smugly entitled of the newest generation.

  6. I have never seen these before so I clicked on the website link to get a better idea of what these decals look like. Some are just nonsensical, but some were alarming. Assault LIfe ?!? I might have tried to interpret this as a somewhat violent form of "carpe diem" except that the Assault Life decals come with your choice of AK47, M4, M16, grenade, or skull&gun outlines.
    Umm.... WHAT?
    Please tell me you have not seen any of those decals while driving around in Real Life.